I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
