Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
