Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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