I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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