so that wasnt chicken after all
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
