So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
