Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
