Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
my god I love twenty year old dicks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize