great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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