You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize