I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
