This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
