i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
