Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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