Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
