Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
