haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize