He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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