sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
