Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
And then he peed in my hair
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