cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
