he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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