I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
