note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
