I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize