I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
