I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize