Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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