Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
