once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
