Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
