This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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