I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
