we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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