my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
