I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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