2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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