i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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