tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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