i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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