its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
