ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
