I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Girls should come with a carfax report
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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