God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
its liver damage thursday
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
