Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
