One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
