I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize