new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
