you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
