I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
