the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
