I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
