Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
