Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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