i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We have so much sex to catch up on
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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