I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize