scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
