I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
