I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
