420 ftw
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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