closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
