What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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