Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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